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i can't decide if there's something depressing or satisfying knowing that everything you own can be crammed into a car and a truck.
a good chunk of my stuff was loaded into my parents' truck yesterday so they could take it home for me to sort through this friday before we go to chicago saturday. a bookbag full of design books and my ps2 went to chicago with david. threw a couple more things into the car to take to work tomorrow and give to people that wanted them. probably need to throw more stuff out, particularly from the kitchen area. i've still got some work cut out for me, but there's just not much left.
otherwise, all i have left to entertain myself is the computer and some books. if my tv wasn't so big and clunky, i would've had them leave it so i'd have it for the rest of the week. unfortunately it's too heavy for me to carry clear out to the car by myself so it had to go. with that gone, that also means no video games or movies. and with no furniture left, my desktop computer is sitting on the floor in the space where the desk used to be; feels like years ago when i'd spend hours laying on the floor working on my laptop during the summer.
all things considered, though, it's strangely kind of nice laying here on the floor with the breeze coming in through the windows. the floor's filthy, but oh well--it's just kind of nice to have so little cluttering up my space.
i still worry how badly this week is going to go for me. the reality of it all set in days ago, but that doesn't make things any better. if anything, i'm really going to miss the people i worked with. maybe it's my fault for getting so attached, but i figured i should probably play nice since i'd be here for awhile--who knew i actually wouldn't. sure my attachment means my time here was worthwhile, but that doesn't make it any easier. it also doesn't help to know that when i'm gone, things will go on as usual without me--i highly doubt much of anybody is going to care that much that i've left. i'm just another casualty of the impending buyout, but at least i'm leaving of my own accord.
i'm really afraid of how i'm going to react friday. i know me and i know i'm a softy--i pray i don't break down into tears and look like the wuss i am. it's just work, people constantly move from job to job. yeah, of course i'll get people's home and email addresses in an attempt to stay in contact, but i get the feeling it's just one of those niceties everybody does and doesn't necessarily stick to. as time goes by, i wouldn't be surprised if contact ceases between me and coworkers who mutually agreed to keep in touch. such is life, i guess...
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